darlingdormer:

I’ve been married before, professionally, a couple of times, but this takes the biscuit.

*this takes the pie

clisneyprincess:

see that girl you just called a bitch? she didn’t hear you say it louder

(Source: prlncest)

"People run from rain but
sit
in bathtubs full of
water."

Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)

Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face” (via coolestpriest)

(Source: cachaemic)